Triplet Separation: Should You Keep Them Together?
Triplet Separation: Should You Keep Them Together?
Becky Oram, Head of SEN at Class People, discusses the issues surrounding triplet separation in school.
As a mum to identical triplet boys, ever since they were little, we have always been bombarded with a barrage of questions.
“Are they identical?”
“Were they conceived naturally?”
“How do you cope?”
“Are they all boys?”
In the last 12 months, however, all the questions have been regarding if we will keep them in the same class in school or split them up. The town we live in only has a few 3 form entry schools and are not near where we live, so keeping them all separate (which is what we would have liked to do), wasn’t an option.
Ideally we would have liked the chance for them to develop their own personalities and grow in their own ways. Even though they are triplets, they spend a good amount of time away from each other, so as not to depend on one another if the others are not about. While some parents might worry about their twins/triplets missing each other when they’re put in separate classes, we were keen for them to develop their own friendship groups and let others get to know them as individuals, not as “The Triplets”.
There are pros and cons to separating twins/triplets at school and parents and teachers will all have their own views depending on their own experiences.
Many experts support the notion that separation is best for twins and other multiples. They believe that separation is the best way to help children develop their individuality, without being influenced by a sibling classmate (Blevins 2001) and it is believed that multiples will become overly dependent upon each other if they are educated together from a young age. It is also said that separation may decrease the likelihood of twins or triplets being compared with each other or given labels such as “the naughty triplet” or “the more social triplet”. Teachers may not realise they are doing it, but will do self-consciously. It is also argued that rivalry and competition between and among sibling peers can be decreased by separating children into different classrooms. It has been proven that there is no harm in separating twins/triplets, it they are capable of forming relationships with their peers.
On the other hand, in contrast to the opinions of many experts, 86% of twins’ parents believe that their children should be kept together. Some teachers support parents in this idea because keeping twins and multiples together provides teachers with more opportunities to get to know the children and their family better (Beauchamp and Brooks 2003). Separation can also be detrimental to children since it may cause undue stress to the children and family involved. Research has been carried out to indicate some children actually do better when they are kept together, than when separated as they provide an instant support system to each other. By keeping them in the same classroom, the teacher can still provide children the opportunity to develop their own personalities, by getting them to work with different groups of children and therefore allowing them to form friendships with their peers.
Even though we would have liked the boys to be in separate classes, they have actually started a brand new school which only has one class of 27 children. We had in-depth talks with the teachers about trying to keep them separated as much as possible, because we want them to be seen as individuals in their own right. They will all sit at different tables when doing various activities, they are in different reading groups and they used to come together at “free flow” times. Now, 10 weeks into term, they are starting to make their own friends and integrate with their peers a lot more. It was hard for them to interact initially as they had each other, so always knew someone, as opposed to being a singleton, who knew nobody.
We would have loved for the boys to be in 3 different classes, but we are making the current situation work, with the help of the teachers and teaching assistants. A small benefit of them being in the same class is that we only have to deal with one teacher which makes it easier when dealing with things like homework, parents evening etc.
In short, there advantages and disadvantages of twins/triplets being in the same class, as well as separate classes. At the end of the day, It is hard being a parent who has to make that decision, knowing it could have a big effect on your children’s’ education. Take it from someone who knows, all you will ever do is try and make the right decision.